The Wake Up Call

The voice on the other end of the phone was far too chipper for 4:00 a.m "This is your wake up call."

Within a little over an hour we were outside in 30 degree weather being followed by two porters hauling our luggage to a tour bus idling in the street, too big to make it into our hotel's narrow driveway.

We were leaving behind not only a world class luxury hotel but a lifestyle that revolved around two things: work and entertainment. Just a couple of nights before, our biggest concern was whether we were going to hit a culinary home run with our restaurant selection (which we did with a place called "Made in China") or strike out as we had done with Maison Boulud.

We were not entirely sure what we were in for. We had attended an orientation session the day before. The Holt representative was very candid in describing the initial bumps in the road that some parents would face.

Most of the children in our group of 7 families were coming from foster homes. These children were likely to have developed close bonds with their foster families, which, she explained, would make it easier for them to form new bonds with their adoptive parents. The down side would be the trauma that these children would initially experience when separated from their foster families.

We were warned that some of these children would at first reject their new parents, kick and scream, refuse to eat and seem entirely inconsolable. This would happen to at least one adoptive family, and to one extent or another, we were warned that everyone could expect some degree of emotional trauma. These were very sobering words.

We arrived in Nanning after an uneventful 3 hour flight. It was 35 degrees warmer than Beijing and a world apart. Although a huge city by any standard and the provincial capital, Nanning does not have the wealthy, cosmopolitan feel of Beijing.

As were being transported to the Majestic hotel by bus, Li Na was making her way by bus to Nanning from Guilin, a city located a good five hour dive to the north. She had been separated from her foster family, placed on a bus with the orphanage director, and sent off to an uncertain future.

She arrived at a nondescript office building in Nanning that houses the ministry of civil affairs to meet up with 6 other girls ranging in age from 11 to 22months in age. At 26 months, she was the oldest.

When all of the girls had arrived, their chaperons brought them up an elevator and into a ceremonial hall, complete with flags of the world in a cemicircle around a lectern. There they were met by a gaggle of American families. Their future parents.

When Li Na's Chinese name ( Qin Li Ze) was called we both kind of froze. The Holt representative gave us a helpful look and smile. Gale stepped forward to take Li Ze from the arms of her chaperon.

For the first 15 minutes or so, in that hall, surrounded by six other families and their new daughters, Li Ze was a happy camper. She found us to be endlessly amusing. The pictures that we posted last night are from these first few euphoric moments. She must have assumed that this was all a part of an amusing day out and that she would soon be returning to her familiar world and family.

When it became clear that she was not returning, her mood changed dramatically. She cried, she screamed and she called out the name of someone, but she was speaking a toddler's Mandarin to adults who understood not a word of what she was saying.

From time to time over the course of the evening, the happy Li Na would reemerge. The gushing tears would suddenly cease and we were once again big funny people. She even took a walk around the lobby and delighted in splashing water on Gale from the lobby fountain. Then, just as suddenly, her mood would darken and the tears would come streaming down her face.

Her favorite foods were reported to be congee (a rice porridge) and rice. We therefore asked room service to bring up a bowl of each for dinner. She not only refused to eat, but she made very clear hand gestures rejecting our efforts to slip even a little food between her lips. She did drink copious amounts of water from her sippy cup. It is likely that she was dehydrated from her long trip, wrapped in three layers of clothes.

Bath time was reminiscent of bathing the cat back when she was in fighting form. Let's just say that Li Na did not take to the water. She was equally unenthusiastic about western style toilets, although she gets the concept.

But there was an unexpected phenomena. We put her to bed at about 9:00. That she went right to sleep was not unexpected, especially after all of the trauma of the day, not to mention a 5 hour bus ride. But here is the kicker. Not only did she sleep through the night, but we had to wake her up at 7:30. Even then, she was as reluctant to get out of bed as we had been the morning before when we received our 4:00 a.m. wake up call.

I think that this is all going to work out just fine!